Just typing those two words together pisses me off. Really? Guilt over eating pizza? And the pizza to which I am referring is a crispy thin crust pizza with white sauce, spinach and feta from Dominos. This pizza is light, crispy and delicious! This stuff messes with my head because I can eat like 4 or 5 pieces. That feels like a TON! Reality check: a serving size of this is 1/4 of the pizza which is about right. So over the course of the night I probably ate 1.5 servings. BUT the number of slices I ate put me into a real funk. I hate that I ate the pizza when I wasn't really hungry. I just really wanted it. I kept thinking about it and I finally gave in. The second eating session of it didn't even taste that great, but I still ate it feeling like shit about myself the whole time. First off, I hate that I am bothered by pizza. ITS JUST FOOD! But its not just food. Its an emotional connection with me and I hate that so much. I hate that I struggle with eating. I hate that eating a serving of pizza depressed me tonight. For the most part, I don't fret much about this kind of thing any more. I don't know why it hit me so hard today. And today wasn't just pizza. I have been on a massive carb binge. I have been eating some sourdough bread I bought at the farmer's market. I had the pizza. I ate an entire bag of soy crisps (smallish bag 3 servings 21 grams of protein, 330 calories, this was lunch...like my excuses?) during a movie earlier. Today just was not the best eating day. So now that I have had my pity party, I need a plan. I think I am going to do low carb tomorrow because I have 2 Father's Day get togethers on Sunday that I want to go to without worrying about too much about what to eat. Thankfully this surgery gives me built in self control because I can't over do it too much, but I get stressed sometimes worrying that I am eating too much or that I have stretched out my pouch. The reality is I still eat very small portions, but they are more than they were when I was just a few months out and it pays mind tricks with me. I sometimes wish I could only eat 1-2 oz of food like I used too. Oh well, it is what it is.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Pizza guilt
Just typing those two words together pisses me off. Really? Guilt over eating pizza? And the pizza to which I am referring is a crispy thin crust pizza with white sauce, spinach and feta from Dominos. This pizza is light, crispy and delicious! This stuff messes with my head because I can eat like 4 or 5 pieces. That feels like a TON! Reality check: a serving size of this is 1/4 of the pizza which is about right. So over the course of the night I probably ate 1.5 servings. BUT the number of slices I ate put me into a real funk. I hate that I ate the pizza when I wasn't really hungry. I just really wanted it. I kept thinking about it and I finally gave in. The second eating session of it didn't even taste that great, but I still ate it feeling like shit about myself the whole time. First off, I hate that I am bothered by pizza. ITS JUST FOOD! But its not just food. Its an emotional connection with me and I hate that so much. I hate that I struggle with eating. I hate that eating a serving of pizza depressed me tonight. For the most part, I don't fret much about this kind of thing any more. I don't know why it hit me so hard today. And today wasn't just pizza. I have been on a massive carb binge. I have been eating some sourdough bread I bought at the farmer's market. I had the pizza. I ate an entire bag of soy crisps (smallish bag 3 servings 21 grams of protein, 330 calories, this was lunch...like my excuses?) during a movie earlier. Today just was not the best eating day. So now that I have had my pity party, I need a plan. I think I am going to do low carb tomorrow because I have 2 Father's Day get togethers on Sunday that I want to go to without worrying about too much about what to eat. Thankfully this surgery gives me built in self control because I can't over do it too much, but I get stressed sometimes worrying that I am eating too much or that I have stretched out my pouch. The reality is I still eat very small portions, but they are more than they were when I was just a few months out and it pays mind tricks with me. I sometimes wish I could only eat 1-2 oz of food like I used too. Oh well, it is what it is.
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