Old and New pictures

My son Patrick's last day of first grade is tomorrow. Today he was wearing the same shirt he wore the first day of school and it made me curious to compare him from then until now. I pulled up the pics and I came across a picture of the two of us. I was a little over a month out from surgery so 270ish. I remember being so happy with the shirt I was wearing because I was able to actually buy something from Ross again. Looking at the picture now makes me sad on so many levels. First off, my son is getting so old! Done with first grade? Where has the time gone? Second, I was huge. No getting around it. It makes me sad that it took so long for me to do what I needed to do to have the surgery. Realistically, 2009 was the best year for me because we ended up with great insurance for that year only because the policy changed and there is no way I could have afforded it this year, but you know what I mean. Why did I stay fat for so long? I feel like I missed out on so much. I feel like my sons missed out on so much. I didn't get to be a cute pregnant girl. I didn't get to cuddle them close to me when they were babies. I didn't try hard to breastfeed because my boobs and stomach were so big it was uncomfortable. I didn't have a lap for Patrick to sit in when he was little. Cooper thankfully has a mommy with a lap now. In this pic you can see that my son can't get his arms around me, not by a long shot. As I was losing weight we would check every week or so to see if he could touch his fingers around me. He can now :) I was so lazy and tired and miserable at that weight. Thankfully my boys are still young and won't remember me as heavy too much. Cooper won't at all. I don't have to worry about them being embarrassed of my weight or teased at school because of me. At least not for my weight :) I'm sure I'll still embarrass them because that is what moms do, right? I am glad this part of my life is behind me and all I can do is remember how I felt then and how much better I feel now, especially when I think an Oatmeal cookie would be a great idea for dinner :)

Now about new pics. I posted this pic on my facebook page (kristemitchell) and my wonderful friends have been so supportive and said such encouraging things. One friend said that some hot mama was posting updates and pics under my account and I should contact fb. Another one said that I look like ME now. That really stuck with me. I feel like me now. I always wondered what I looked like under all of that fat, all of the layers that I had built up around me. I still have a little ways to go, but this is what I truly look like and who I was always meant to be. I don't ever want to take this opportunity for granted. I have been so blessed and I need to remind myself of that every day.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and for sharing this journey with me.