New Driver's License!

My drivers license expired this year and I had to go to the DMV to get a new one! It was so fantastic to update my weight and my picture! On my last drivers license, I put 250 even though I was pushing 275! Then I put on another 60 lbs! On my new license I only fudged a few pounds and put 170 instead of 178. I figure I'll probably settle around 170 so I thought that would be a safe number. The lady at the DMV even commented on my weight loss. And on top of that fun I had an appointment and was in and out in 20 minutes! Sweet!!!

Walking challenge update: I am done with my miles already this week. I had 3 long walks this week. Sunday my sister and I walked the 3 mile walk from her house to our BBQ at my mom's. Monday I played hookie from work and the kids and I went for a walk at the beach for another 3.5 miles. Yesterday I did another 3 miles. My son has art camp this week at our community center from 2-4. Usually at this point in the summer it is 90+ degrees but we have had very mild weather so I decided to save the time and gas going across town back home and took the baby on a walk instead. We walked to our local 99 cent only store 1.6 miles away. This was a very hilly walk! I prefer flat (who doesn't!) so this was challenging. This pic is from mile 2- 2.5. This picture doesn't do the incline justice! I was also pushing 50+ in a stroller. It was a WORKOUT! My feet/shoes are still bothering me. I experimented with the ball of the foot cushions I bought when I got my shoes. They didn't help at all and I think they actually made the problem worse. The last mile was horrible on the feet and as soon as we got back to the park, I took my shoes off and headed for the grass! My toes felt like they were on fire. This is really bumming me out. They don't bother me much for the first 2 miles but after that they start to hurt. I am almost wondering if some type of fitness sandal would be a better option for me. Maybe having my toes free would feel better? I just want to make sure I have some cushion and shock absorption. When I did that walk in flip flops a few weeks ago I ended up with pain in my heel! Damn feet! I think I am going to look online at fitness sandals and see whats out there. I have to figure something out because I am loving distance walking and I don't want foot pain to stop me. Take care everyone!

Let's talk about vitamins...

...because I need to remind myself of their importance! I have gotten very, very lazy about my vitamins. I do manage to take a multi-vitamin 2x a day when I take my depression medication, but I have a very hard time getting the rest in. Maybe I don't need the additional ones?? On a good vitamin day I should take the following...

1. Centrum Chewables 2x

2. Citracal 250 iu each 2x-4x

3. Iron 325 mg 2x day w/stool softener (sexy...)

4. Vitamin A 8000 iu 1x

5. Vitamin D 1000 iu 1x

6. Daily Depression med. 2x

I even bought myself this fancy old person pill box at the 99 cent store! Problem is ideally I have to take them all throughout the day in order to reap the full absorbtion. I can't take iron with calcuim. I don't want to take the addional A or D or iron or calcuim with the multi because I doubt I can absorb it all at once. I really need to be better with this to avoid the vitamin deficencies. Thus bringing me to my other deliema...

Labs. My 1 year labs are due this week. My doctor has been sending me hate mail reminding me to go. Ok, not hate mail. It's nice to have a doctor/insurance carrier that is as proactive as Kaiser is. But our insurance benefits changed at the beginning of the year and I have a $300 deductible and a 10% copay. Kaiser orders 15+ labs at the 1 year check-up and I cannot afford it. I applied for the member assistance program and was denied because they thought I made too much money. I can't afford the labs that I really need to have. If my levels are good then I don't need to worry about taking the extra vitamins/supplements but if they are not, then I need to get them up so I don't do some serious damage to my body. It sucks having to pay for healthcare. Last year when I had my surgery, I had FANTASTIC coverage. I didn't have a deductible or lab copays. I paid $250 dollars for my hospital stay and surgery! I was super lucky! This year it would have cost me $1000+ and I wouldn't have been able to afford it. My hubby's work changed the policy and I had no choice in the matter. Don't get me wrong. I am very thankful to have affordable health insurance, but in times like this, I really wish it was better. I'll figure it out and come up with the money somehow, but it won't be this week. I need to go to Kaiser this week and ask how much it will be. Maybe by some miracle I was wrong about my benefits and it won't cost me as much as I am fearing. If not, at least I will know how much I need. Hope you all had a nice holiday weekend! My hubby, kids, and I went to Balboa Island/Beach today and walked 3.5 miles. I bribed my oldest with a dried starfish and he didn't whine the entire time. He ended up with a shark tooth necklace but whatever works right? My 2 year old feel asleep for the last mile...

Back to real life tomorrow! Take care!

Testing my will

I am currently at a BBQ with the family. The menu for the night was grilled chicken breast, salad with tons of veggies, couscous salad with cucumber and feta, and homemade potato salad! Fucking potato salad! I want to rub it on my body! Tee hee hee! I ate some but what annoys me is how bad I want more! I am feeling frenzied about it. I want to eat and eat and eat!! Here is what I ate plus some extra nibbles over the course of the evening. I am on my iPhone and I can't figure out how to upload from here. It was a pretty plate full of 85% healthy and 15% potato salad! I am sitting outside right now far from the kitchen. I did make a plate of potato salad and couscous for later to ease that part of my brain that is obsessing over the food. We have about an hour and a half before fireworks and a ice cream sandwich cassarole desert thing in the fridge. Damn it! Oh well, we did walk 3 miles here so maybe I earned some of the potato salad and a tiny slice of desert ;)

Initiation

I have been giving my new shoes some action the last couple days. Last night I went with my sister Laura and her friend Lindsey for a walk at our local Regional Park. I did 1.85 of the planned 3 mile walk because my son started whining and I simply didn't want to listen to it anymore! I got a late start on the walking challenge this week because of my foot pain last weekend and the new shoe purchase. Today I walked 2 miles on my lunch hour around beautiful downtown Redlands. It was hot but there was enough of a breeze so it wasn't terrible. The heat doesn't bother me like it used to. It's amazing the difference 150+ pounds makes!! Walking at the park yesterday had me craving some nature so we headed up the mountain to Lake Gregory and walked there this afternoon with the kiddos. The lake had a nice walking trail around the entire lake. The weather was great and aside from the whinning kid it was fantastic. I don't understand what his problem is. Kids his age should be ecstatic about being outside! Right?? In his defense, I didn't realize he was wearing flip flops and we did just walk. We didn't stop to play in the water or anything. This is mostly due to our other son, 2 year old Cooper. He is a wild child and if he is content in the stroller at the moment, we try not to push our luck. So my walking tally is up to nine miles for the week! Not too bad for the last 3 days!

In search of kicks...

I went to the Running Center today in search of new shoes. This place is great! The guy spent time with me and watched me walk and brought out tons of shoes for me to try on. After 30 minutes and about 8 pairs of shoes, I settled on this pair:

I wasn't concerned about how they looked. These ended up being cute enough. They were $100 which was under the $150 budget I had for myself so I ended up splurging on a $10 pair of socks (gasp! but the guy said they were important and I am a sucker :) I was so happy leaving the store. I went back to work and slipped these bad boys on. Within 10 minutes the bottom of my feet started to tingle! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I wanted to cry!!! All of the other shoes I have purchased in the last few years have had this same problem. Why did I spend $100 on shoes that do the same thing as the $40 ones did??? But because I spent so much on them I went back to the store and told the guy what happened. We tried on some others and I exchanged the shoes for this pair: Its the same shoe but in a Wide and I like the color better, so that was a bonus! They were the same price so that was easy. I wore these on the treadmill and I did have some tingling :( When I explained the tingly feelings to the sales guy he said that I might have Morton's Neuroma. "Morton's neuroma occurs in a nerve in your foot, often between your third and fourth toes. The condition involves a thickening of the tissue around one of the nerves leading to your toes. Morton's neuroma causes a sharp, burning pain in the ball of your foot. Your toes also may sting, burn or feel numb." This is exactly what happens to me. I don't get it when I wear flip flops or when I wore I my old faithful shoes. The guy said that it gets aggravated when my feet get constricted (like in more supportive shoes). Fan-friggin-tatic!! So essentially he said that if this is what I have I am going to have to learn to live with it and use supports and cushions to help alleviate the pain. He suggested some ball of the foot cushions that I have to put under the removable shoe liner. They feel like my sock is bunched up. It doesn't feel good but he assures me that I will get used to it. I also thought about getting some arch supports and see if that helps. I'll keep you posted. I'm going to wear the shoes around my office and see what happens. I think I may also go to CVS and try that Dr Scholls machine that tells you what insert works best for your foot. I have a few bucks left since my shoes were cheaper than I planned. We will see!

Easily discouraged

This was week 2 of the walking challenge with my sister. Ever since my shoes were stolen last week, I have been feeling very discouraged about exercise. This week I got in my miles, but it was rough! We went to Disneyland and the zoo this week and we went out of our way to walk more than usual so I could get my miles in! On Thursday I decided to walk on my lunch break and I took off for a fast 2 mile walk...IN FLIP FLOPS! So dumb. I thought they would feel better than the shoes that make my toes numb. Bad idea. I think I have plantar fasciitis. When I walk more than a few steps, I get a sharp pain in my heel that heads up to my calf. It feels awesome... Today I needed to get in my last mile so I got on the treadmill and walked like a gimp! It took me 23 minutes to do a mile! Suck! So according to about.com I need to rest my foot for a few days and get some better shoes and maybe try some heel seats/cups. Sounds like a plan :)

Out of Control Snacking

I am out of control. The last few days/weeks/months I have started snacking. It is amazing how fast grazing calories can add up!! I think I only had 1 real meal today but I managed to eat 2250 calories! WTF!!! My calorie goal according to Livestrong is 1804. Crap I just checked it again and because I have lost some weight since my last log in, I have less calories, 1749 calories per day! I have it set to lose 2 lbs a week. If I want to maintain my weight I could/should eat 2749 calories. Well at least I am not in the gaining weight mode. At least not yet. If I don't get this snacking under control I am going to start gaining! OMG! I can't even bear the thought. I have come to far to fall back into these old habits! So as accountability I am posting what I ate today. Feel free to judge quietly to yourself :)

As I look over the list I am noticing a lot of carbs! I have to rein that in as well. I still did well on my protein, over a 100 grams but my trifecta (protein powder, bar, and Greek yogurt) really helps me there. I need a game plan. Just how my rule about eating my trifecta everyday, I need to establish some other rules/guidelines to keep me on track. My sister and I were discussing this because she is trying to lose weight too. Here are some of the ideas we had:

1. Track calories on Livestrong.com and stay below the target calorie goal.

2. Workout more so I can eat more "normally" what ever that means

3. Balance a not so great food choice with a healthy one Ex. Tostada for lunch = fruit for snack (not Kettle corn... sad face :p )

4. Drink more water (Thanks Falon for the reminder!)

5. Stop snacking

6. Stop eating all together...ok not really but sometimes I wish I could...

As I have said before, I hate that I have to worry about eating. It will always be a struggle but I hope in time, I will find what works for me and be successful at maintaining this weight loss. Maintenance was and is my #1 fear with life after WLS. I have been very lucky to be complication free (so far) and I can tolerate just about every food. Some fucked up part of my brain kind of hoped for some sort of problem that would force me to eat tiny portions or a very strict diet. Like severe dumping or something like that. That didn't happen so I have to learn how to not put crap in my face. In the classes they always said in the first 12-18 months it is 90% surgery 10% you and after that its 10% surgery 90% you. I am almost 1 year post op and my time is ticking with the 90% surgery thing. This has really been true for me. I didn't work out like crazy or follow the post op diet religiously and I have had enormous success this last year. But that will only last so long. The next 60+ years are on me (yeah, that would put me 89+ years old!). That is such a scary thought but one that I need to deal with because this is the time to figure it out! Well, I should get on the treadmill but I have another early morning tomorrow so I can get in 8 hours of work before my hubby has to leave for work. So that means leaving the house at 6:45! Boo... Oh well, we do what we have to do right? Good night!!

Another active date night!

Just got back from date night with my hubby! Because I walked 10 miles this week I got to cash in my 2 hours of babysitting with my sister. My husband and I headed up to our local mountains and took a super easy hike across Mill Creek and up to Forest Falls. It was so beautiful! We are having a mild June here in So Cal so the weather was great! I love that my husband is so willing to go do fun stuff like this. We would love to take the kiddos but our 2 year old is way to crazy to try to attempt this with him. As we were leaving I told my husband to remind me of the feeling I had at that moment next time he catches me eating those damn Cat Cookies from Trader Joes! I love the feeling of running up a trail, climbing on rocks, having fun! Today was wonderful! Happy Summer everyone!!!

Dear Jerk Off that stole my gym bag,

I don't understand why you would bust out my window to steal my gym bag. There was nothing in there that would mean anything to anyone but me. Inside that bag I had my workout shoes, the ONLY shoes I have that don't make my feet go numb after 30 minutes. They were old, worn, and maybe a bit smelly. Surely you have no need for them and I am sure they are in a trash can somewhere. Those shoes served me well and I can't find a replacement. Just when I was catching some steam in the exercise department, you took them from me. Inside that bag was my bare minerals make-up and $18 Redken hair product. I NEVER spend money like that on things for myself and I will not be able to replace those anytime soon. You also stole a bag that I bought in Japan 8 years ago that I recently found, so thanks for that. What is ironic is that if you really wanted that bag, you could have just opened the back door and taken it. They were both unlocked. But because you felt the need to break something, I have to pay $200 to replace the window you shattered. This took away the money for my wonderful husband's Father's Day present and have caused my family to be very tight on cash this week. So I hope you are happy Asshole. I hope you get caught one of these days and have to pay for what you did. People like you SUCK!

Pizza guilt

Just typing those two words together pisses me off. Really? Guilt over eating pizza? And the pizza to which I am referring is a crispy thin crust pizza with white sauce, spinach and feta from Dominos. This pizza is light, crispy and delicious! This stuff messes with my head because I can eat like 4 or 5 pieces. That feels like a TON! Reality check: a serving size of this is 1/4 of the pizza which is about right. So over the course of the night I probably ate 1.5 servings. BUT the number of slices I ate put me into a real funk. I hate that I ate the pizza when I wasn't really hungry. I just really wanted it. I kept thinking about it and I finally gave in. The second eating session of it didn't even taste that great, but I still ate it feeling like shit about myself the whole time. First off, I hate that I am bothered by pizza. ITS JUST FOOD! But its not just food. Its an emotional connection with me and I hate that so much. I hate that I struggle with eating. I hate that eating a serving of pizza depressed me tonight. For the most part, I don't fret much about this kind of thing any more. I don't know why it hit me so hard today. And today wasn't just pizza. I have been on a massive carb binge. I have been eating some sourdough bread I bought at the farmer's market. I had the pizza. I ate an entire bag of soy crisps (smallish bag 3 servings 21 grams of protein, 330 calories, this was lunch...like my excuses?) during a movie earlier. Today just was not the best eating day. So now that I have had my pity party, I need a plan. I think I am going to do low carb tomorrow because I have 2 Father's Day get togethers on Sunday that I want to go to without worrying about too much about what to eat. Thankfully this surgery gives me built in self control because I can't over do it too much, but I get stressed sometimes worrying that I am eating too much or that I have stretched out my pouch. The reality is I still eat very small portions, but they are more than they were when I was just a few months out and it pays mind tricks with me. I sometimes wish I could only eat 1-2 oz of food like I used too. Oh well, it is what it is.

New found love of exercise

So this has been a weird week. I have been loving exercise! I have almost hit my 10 mile goal for the week. My sister beat me to the goal today, but its cool! I am at 9.67 miles. I walked 2 miles at the gym this morning! SOOOOOOOOO boring! I hate wasting gym time on the treadmill but there were no classes I wanted to take. I am going to try to get there tomorrow am for a Body Challenge class. I have been wanting to go to this class since I joined the gym. I think I will go to bed early and try my hardest to get up and go. It was so nice starting my day with exercise. Since I have been working out this week, I have had a ton of energy! I worked out this morning and my sister and I did another walk with the kiddos tonight. We logged another 1.7 miles. It is amazing how easy walking and working out in general is now that I am so much thinner. I love it! And if I want to keep this body (and make it even thinner and stronger...) I HAVE TO WORKOUT! It simply has to be a fact of life if I want to keep the weight off. I don't need to be a crazy gym rat, but regular exercise is essential. I really need to start weight training. I am scared of doing weights at the gym outside of a class. I don't know why, but the machines confuse and scare me and the free weights are just so intimidating. I am way to self conscious to attempt it at this point. That is why I want to go to the Body Challenge class because it is mostly weight training. I feel like it will help me learn some new moves and give me some much needed toning (and confidence!). What kind of exercise do you all do?

Walking challenge Check In

Today I took the boys on a walk. We parked at my mom's house and walked a mile to Ross. I bought some maternity jeans! I know that seems odd since I am not prego but I got to thinking a while back that maternity pants might solve the large on top small on bottom dilemma. I bought a MEDIUM!!! They are dark denim and make me look tiny! And because they have a panel I can eliminate the need for spanxx! With summer coming, it will be nice to lose those! I also bought 2 workout pants. I bought a pair of capri leggings and a pair of long shorts/short capris. I am excited to wear them to the gym or out for a walk tomorrow! Today I also bought an awesome app for my iPhone called SprintPCS GPS Fitness Tracker! It was FREE so it is even better. This app tracks the time, distance, and calories burned for your workout! I used it tonight and it is amazing! It even pulls my ipod play list and plays it during the workout. Here is the workout review from the app! I don't think the calorie burn is right because my weight was not entered yet. The speed is slow because I was walking with a 6 year old who felt the need to stop every 3 minutes. Oh well, it was still exercise! Like I said, I walked a mile to Ross and I was able to pause the workout while we shopped. Then we walked back and I was able to use to map to navigate streets I had never gone on and I was able to get a longer walk than I originally planned. I ended up doing 2.67 miles. So my total for the week is 5.67 miles! I am going to try to go to the gym in the morning. Now that I don't have to wait around to take my son to school, I can get up and go in the AM. There aren't any good classes in the am. Only spinning at 6 am (NO WAY!) and some old lady exercise classes. Oh well, I'll do the treadmill and elliptical. Or maybe I'll swim laps? Or maybe I'll try the water exercise class? Hummmmm... I'll let you know how it goes!

Did I mention I love weekends?

So I have decided that weekends are for relaxing. PERIOD! The last few weekends have been so nice and relaxing. I was thinking about it and I realized that it is because I did NOTHING but relax and enjoy myself and families. Weekdays should be for working and the weekends should be for not working. So this week I am going to assign myself a chore a night so I don't have to feel so guilty about doing nothing on the weekends :) Today was a great day! I spent the afternoon laying in the sun (covered in SPF 50 cuz I am scared of cancer...) with my feet in the kiddie pool. It was awesome! I made a delicious couscous salad with feta cheese and cucumber. I just by the boxed flavored couscous (Mediterranean Couscous from Fresh and Easy) and throw it in the rice cooker and its done in 15 minutes! Let it chill, add some cucumber and feta and what ever else you like. YUMMY! I had it for lunch and dinner! My sister and I walked a 5K like I said we would! The weather was great but the kiddos were being lazy and complaining a good deal of the time. That was a bummer but my other sister came to the rescue and picked them up right before the final uphill climb! Thank god! Our walking challenge is on! 3 miles down, 7 to go!

Although I don't like to do chores on the weekend, only real chore I do do is on Sunday. I like to prep for the week. When my son is in school I get his snack and lunch stuff all bagged up and into a plastic bin so in the morning I can grab and go. I like to do bentos for his lunch so I prep as much as I can. For example, he likes make-your-own-pizza so I portion out the pepperoni, cheese, and sauce so I can grab what I need and pack his bento in 2 minutes flat. It makes me feel good sending him to school with something I made for him instead of all that processed crap. I also like to prep my food like cubes of cheese, portioned out snacks, etc. My youngest son is a grazer and loves to get into the cabinet so I started portioning out everything into snack size bags so he can grab something small and eat it. This way I don't end up with a bag of pretzels on the ground! On Sunday night I also like to pick up the house and put away laundry. I hate starting a new week with last weeks mess. I have a stack of laundry to put away in my room so I will put on Khole and Kourtney take Miami and get it down once the kids are asleep! I have a late night tonight because I have to wait for my hubby to get home to watch True Blood. Its on the DVR right now and I feel like a kid sitting in their room on Christmas morning waiting to go out and see the presents! I hope you all had a great weekend!

I love weekends!

In fact I live for them! I enjoy my job and all but I very much work to live. I love waking up without an alarm clock even though my 2 year old still makes me get up before I want most days. I love lounging around in my cozy socks drinking 2 large cups of coffee. I love reading my books (reading "Dead and Gone" by Charlaine Harris). Tonight True Blood starts and I am beyond excited! I am planning on making a themed dinner to eat with my hubby when he gets home from work, even if its 2 am. (He's a bartender...) Eric is my favorite character. I like him even more in the books, probably because farther down the storyline Eric and Sookie have more "interaction" if you know what I mean ;). Damn. It's all I can say... Luckily mt hubby loves the show to so he doesn't get jealous about my huge crush on this guy!

Any hoosky moving on...yesterday my sister and I packed up our bento boxes and walked to this beautiful park that is a mile away. It was gorgeous here in so cal yesterday afternoon. We have been having some June gloom but it cleared up and made a great afternoon. I was feeling very crafty yesterday so I made some candy sushi for the kids.

Then I experimented with making rice molds that I saw on this awesome blog about packing bento boxes. It's kind of hard to tell but my son wanted a bat and a haunted house, pulled from my Halloween stash of cookie cutters. I also made moons, stars, headstones, and cars! They were so cute!

My sister and I had some Waba Grill in our bentos! It was yummy!

I am challenging my sister to a walking challenge this week. We have to walk at least 10 miles and if we do, we will each watch each others kids for 2 hours so the other can be ALONE! Sounds good to me! Today we are walking 5K from my sister's house to our mom's house. Luckily it is mostly down hill :) Yesterday we logged 2 miles and I did 2+ miles the day before. I think setting a mileage goal opposed to a number of days goal is funner.

On an unrelated note, look what my son gave me last night:

Translation: I love you mom. You are a great mom. Did you know that you are the most beautiful-est ? You have beautiful lips. Mom you have beautiful eyes. Mom you have beautiful hair. Mom make me smile :) I will clean every day. I love you. You make my heart feel super happy. Lots of hugs and kisses. He is so amazing and sweet and thoughtful! I am so lucky!!

Check myself before I wreck myself...

It's been a few days since I blogged and I feel weird. Blogging is like cheap therapy for me and since I have been doing it, I feel like I have learned a lot about myself and this journey I am on. Blogging is fun and addicting! My hubby and I took the kids to San Diego for a quick 24 hour vaca on Wednesday night to celebrate my son's last day of school. We went down to La Jolla and did some walking around, saw some seals (so cute!) and went to Jose's for Mexican Food. I ate way to many chips and shared Tortilla soup with my hubby then picked apart a chicken taco. I sometimes (okay, daily) get stressed about the amount of food I can eat. I feel like I can eat like a good amount of food and that freaks me out. I miss the days of 2 oz of food satisfying me. I look at what I eat now and compared to that, it seems like alot. But in reality, it is not alot at all! Example...a typical Mexican food meal for me would have been tons of chips and salsa, 2 cheese enchiladas, chicken taco, beans and rice along with 3-4 refills of diet pepsi. I would also be able to share some fried ice cream too! Now my 2 sons and I share a 3 item combo and they eat the beans and rice and 1 item each and I eat the other item. I may eat a taco or a chili rellano. I usually pick at it too. Unless the tortilla is homemade, I usually don't bother. I usually don't eat the bread/tortilla/rice because unless it is FANTASTIC it's just not worth the room. I think my eating is actually pretty good, now that I think about it. The thing I am struggling with right now is snacking and the sweets. I find myself nibbling too much. I am not hungry. I am eating out of habit/boredom/stress. I really need to get this in check or I will snack the pounds back on. Nibbles really add up over the weeks/months. My environment doesn't help this situation either. I work in a medical office/day program and there is food readily available. At least 2 days a week drug reps bring catered lunch (today was El Torito), 2 days a week we serve lunch (usually some type of fast food) to our clients. Drug reps also bring snacks and treats and coffee and jamba juice. It's never ending! I learned my lesson with the jamba juice! It made me sick!!! Today reps brought these HUGE chocolate covered strawberries! I ate one. It's fruit and chocolate has antioxidants :) It was healthy...shut up! Going home isn't much easier because I have 2 young kids so there is always snack food around. Our snack choices have gotten healthier but they are still around. Excuses! Excuses! It comes down to choices. I can choose to eat what is there but I can also choose not to. I don't want to ever deprive myself. That doesn't work for me because frankly I am too stubborn and I don't like to be told what I can and can't do. BUT, I need to learn that just because I can eat something doesn't mean I should. My body is worth caring for and eating food that has some nutritional value is important. At the end of the day, it's all about balance. Balance is the key to maintaining a healthy weight. Learning to make CHOICES based on what your body needs and what your body wants and being able to realistically reconcile the two is what I need to figure out. I may want a cookie in the afternoon, but that means that I need to eat a high protein dinner and nix any other sweets for the day. BALANCE. But I need to stop snacking on shit. That is just never a good idea.

On a side note, I worked out tonight! I did 45 minutes on my treadmill. I bought this great treadmill in Dec as a gift to myself for getting under 200 lbs. I told myself that I didn't need to worry about exercise until I got under 200 lbs. Well, here I am 20+ lbs under that and I rarely work out. I have a $60 membership to the YMCA and a $600 treadmill and I still have a hard time working out 3 days a week! That is just crazy! It was so easy to walk tonight and I feel good! I am going to make more of an effort to work out because I still have another 6-12 months of weight loss left with the surgery. I need to take advantage and do all I can now. I have another 20 lbs I think I want to lose. I hate working out, but it is necessary to long term success so I just need to suck it up and quite complaining.

I better go for now. I feel like I just rambled on and on, but its my blog and I can ramble if I want to :) LOL! Have a good one!

Old and New pictures

My son Patrick's last day of first grade is tomorrow. Today he was wearing the same shirt he wore the first day of school and it made me curious to compare him from then until now. I pulled up the pics and I came across a picture of the two of us. I was a little over a month out from surgery so 270ish. I remember being so happy with the shirt I was wearing because I was able to actually buy something from Ross again. Looking at the picture now makes me sad on so many levels. First off, my son is getting so old! Done with first grade? Where has the time gone? Second, I was huge. No getting around it. It makes me sad that it took so long for me to do what I needed to do to have the surgery. Realistically, 2009 was the best year for me because we ended up with great insurance for that year only because the policy changed and there is no way I could have afforded it this year, but you know what I mean. Why did I stay fat for so long? I feel like I missed out on so much. I feel like my sons missed out on so much. I didn't get to be a cute pregnant girl. I didn't get to cuddle them close to me when they were babies. I didn't try hard to breastfeed because my boobs and stomach were so big it was uncomfortable. I didn't have a lap for Patrick to sit in when he was little. Cooper thankfully has a mommy with a lap now. In this pic you can see that my son can't get his arms around me, not by a long shot. As I was losing weight we would check every week or so to see if he could touch his fingers around me. He can now :) I was so lazy and tired and miserable at that weight. Thankfully my boys are still young and won't remember me as heavy too much. Cooper won't at all. I don't have to worry about them being embarrassed of my weight or teased at school because of me. At least not for my weight :) I'm sure I'll still embarrass them because that is what moms do, right? I am glad this part of my life is behind me and all I can do is remember how I felt then and how much better I feel now, especially when I think an Oatmeal cookie would be a great idea for dinner :)

Now about new pics. I posted this pic on my facebook page (kristemitchell) and my wonderful friends have been so supportive and said such encouraging things. One friend said that some hot mama was posting updates and pics under my account and I should contact fb. Another one said that I look like ME now. That really stuck with me. I feel like me now. I always wondered what I looked like under all of that fat, all of the layers that I had built up around me. I still have a little ways to go, but this is what I truly look like and who I was always meant to be. I don't ever want to take this opportunity for granted. I have been so blessed and I need to remind myself of that every day.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and for sharing this journey with me.

Date Night

My husband and I went on a date tonight to the batting cages! It was so much FUN! We only did a few rounds, but it was a blast! Like my helmet?

After the batting cages we went to dinner at Red Robin. I thought about getting my old favorite, BLTA Croissant, but I couldn't justify $10 bucks for a meal I would pick apart. Instead I opted for some fries with the poppy seed dressing. Yummy! Today was not the best eating day for me. I got in my protein, but I made some not so hot choices, like my dinner...

Yep, that's an oatmeal raisin cookie from Starbucks and an iced coffee (with skim milk and Splenda)! So french fries, a cookie, and coffee...Dinner of champions :) While it wasn't the healthiest dinner, it was what I really wanted, so I let myself have it. I can't do that everyday, but I don't think there is anything wrong with it occasionally. The only problem with my "dinner" is it made me feel like CRAP! I wanted to lay down on the floor in Barnes and Noble and take a nap. I really shouldn't have had the whole thing. Oh well, live and learn. Off topic but remember my mini freak out about the scale inching up? Well, I think my scale is actually broken. My hubby got on and he was up 4 lbs for the week. I got on tonight and it went from 182 to 186 to 184. Yep, time for a new scale! So that made me feel better. I really am still in my 178-180 range! Now if I could just stay in the 170s I would be happy. Also, see the book! I LOVE me some Sookie Stackhouse! I am a huge True Blood fan and I can't wait for the Season 3 premiere this Sunday! Anyone else a fan??

Tastes of summer

I've never liked summer. Aside from 4th of July (BBQ) and my B-day (presents and cake) I loothed the entire season. I was always so hot and miserable in the heat of Southern California. I was too embarassed to wear a swim suit in public or in my own yard. Fun summer activities like going to the park or the beach or even lounging around in a blow up pool sounded like torture. What a difference a year makes! I am acutally looking forward to the summer! I am craving picnics at the park, walks on the beach, bike rides, swimming, everything! Yesterday I spent the afternoon in my swimsuit in the back yard reading and lounging. I put the blow up pool up and by the end of the afternoon the water was so warm I decided to lay down in the water and chill with the kiddos. It was so much fun!

The foods of summer are also sounding very appealing! I found these darling popscile molds at Ross yesterday for $7.49!!!
I decided to put my yummy greek yogurt smoothie into the pop molds and it turned out delish!!!

Healthy Strawberry Pops!

A bag of frozen strawberries (Pop inthe microwave for 1 minute to soften)

8 oz of greek yogurt
6-8 oz of liquid. I usually use oj but since I was out, I used pink lemonade.

Blend until smooth and put in molds. Here is our finished product!

Yummy!

As you have already seen I have been on a big grilled veggie kick and today will be no exception! I got some maranade at Fresh and Easy on clearance for $0.30! so I will be maranading chicken and veggies in that and I will fire up the grill again tonight! It is so easy to eat healthy when it tastes as good as this stuff does! I also saw on Food netword about grilling salad?? Thought I might give that a try too. Seems I can eat veggies upon veggies without filling up the pouch too much so thats nice!

I hope you are all having a great weekend!

Re-cap of my protein switch up...

So today I changed how I ate my holy trinity of protein food and it went VERY good! Instead of my protein bar in the car on my way to work, I held breakfast off until 9:30 am. I came across an interesting recipe on a blog last night but I can't find it anywhere today. It's called and "overnight jar!" Theirs had PB and some other stuff, but I loved the concept so I put together my own and enjoyed it for breakfast! I put 8 oz of greek yogurt, a handful of dry oatmeal, 5 or 6 frozen strawberries, and a tablespoon or so of SF vanilla syrup. I mixed it all together and let it sit overnight. It was soooooooooooooooooo good! It was alot of food but I was able to get through it slowly. It held me over until lunch! I usually start snacking around 10:30 am so this was amazing! For lunch I had another super healthy meal! I had quinoa mixed with chili beans (just plain old seasoned chili beans in a can) and cheddar cheese. I added some salsa and used some tortilla chips to spoon it out! It was delish and again, very filling. My friend offered me some of her garlic bread and meat sauce from her lunch and although I wasn't hungry at all, I ate some. I don't know why I did. It was so yummy but I didn't need it and it gave me indigestion. I never got indigestion before but it keeps happening lately. When I got home from work I was still full from the 2nd lunch so I didn't start grazing like I usually do. Around 4:15 I ate my protein bar when the urge to snack hit. I wasn't very hungry but I wanted to get the bar in so I ate it. My sister and I decided to make chicken and grilled veggies again so I nibbled on veggies while I prepped and cooked them! It was so good!!!! We went and got some frozen yogurt too! When the kiddos went to bed (a trigger time for my eating) I tried a new recipe for a 3 minute oatmeal raisin cookie. It was very tasty and satisfying so I have no desire to eat anything else for the night.

So to recap, I got in all of my protein, but in a different order. In turn I made better eating decisions today (extremely healthy if I do say so myself) and my extra eating/snacking was greatly reduced! I think I nibbled on a few Vanilla cat cookies from TJs (less than a serving) and some Carmel rice cakes (1 serving). Not bad at all! I think this new schedule is really going to work for me! Yeah!!!

Rethinking my protein regime

So as I have told you before I eat 3 things everyday to give me the bulk of my protein each day. A scoop of protein in my coffee when I first get up (7am) a protein bar in my car on the way to work (9 am) and a container of greek yogurt at my desk at about 10 am. Once I have had those three things then I don't worry about what I eat for the rest of the day (within reason of course). I still make low carb choices but I don't freak out over some bread or french fries. I got to thinking yesterday about my regime while munching on a protein bar on my way to work. Am I not reaping the benefits of all of this protein because I am eating it so close together? So I emailed my bariatric doctor at Kaiser (I love that I can do that!!!) and he said (via email a few hours later) that spacing it out a bit more would probably be best. I also posted on OH's main board the same questions because I am always curious what other people are doing in our little world. The comments I got this morning pretty much said the same thing! One poster said that it has to do with our bodies needing the amino acids from the protein all day long and another equated it to drinking 10 glasses of water in the AM just to get it out of the way. We need water all day just like we need protein all day long. So now I have to rearrange my protein schedule. I like starting my day with the protein powder in my coffee so that stays. I could move the bar to the afternoon. I tend to get snacky when I get home from work, so that would probably help with that. And I could move the Greek yogurt to my night time snack. It's creamy and delicious. It can be a treat or if I am feeling like I want something savory I can make it ranch dip and add some veggies or pop chips. I know it really doesn't matter when I eat as long as I get them in but having a plan, even a loose one makes me feel like I am on track. I hope you all have a great day!

The numbers do lie...right!?!

So the last 4 days I have hopped on the scale each morning and every morning I have been up a pound. I was 177 last week and this morning I was 182. WTF!!!!! Logically I know that it is impossible for me to have gained 5 lbs in a week. My brain knows this but I am still really bummed out when I see numbers like that. Also, I put some capris on yesterday that have always been tight in the tummy and loose in the legs and they felt tighter than usual. What is happening? Could I really be gaining weight? I could see a pound or two, but not five. It is physically impossible for me to have gained 5 lbs of fat in a week because that would mean that I would have eaten 17,500 extra calories. IMPOSSIBLE! But why is the scale moving upwards? Maybe I am bloated? Retaining Water? Constipated? I'm sure there is some reason, so I am not going to freak out anymore. I am not going to get on the scale for the rest of the week and see if anything changes. I'll up my protein and water and get to the gym a few times. That should turn this around. No use worrying about it anymore! Off to enjoy my protein coffee and some cuddles from my bassett hound!

Back to life, back to reality...

I heart long weekends! While I didn't do most of the things on my To-Do list, I had a nice weekend all the same! Saturday my son Patrick (6) and I went for a hike in the hills behind our house. My legs are still sore! It is so nice having "nature" around the corner. We were going to climb to the top of this hill that offers a great view of town, but we opted instead to go over the hill and down the trail that leads into a more wooded area. It was beautiful!

Patrick always picks me flowers. He is such a sweet boy!

Later that day we went to the fruit stand in town and picked up all sorts of goodies and my sister and I grilled veggies and chicken that night. I am not a big veggie person but I love grilled veggies! We had eggplant, sweet onion, zucchini, and red and yellow bell peppers. It was so good!!!! My sis made some rice crispy treats (bitch... :) and I ate too much and practically passed out on the couch. I don't dump often, but I did after those things!

Sunday my sister came over with her kiddos and our little brother and the kids swam in the blow up pool in the back yard. It was so nice wearing a swimsuit around and not feeling self conscious. My thighs were hidden by a sarong, so I felt like I looked pretty good! I tried posting pics, but the internet isn't cooperating with me right now! Oh well! Sunday night we took the leftover grilled veggies, chopped them up and added them to a meat sauce with ground turkey and mild italian sausage. It was delish!

My hubby was off Monday so we got up early and had breakfast at our favorite Mexican Food place, Oscars. I ate the insides of a Chili Verde breakfast burrito. It was so good but a bit too spicy for me so it helped me not eat too much. The rest of the day was spent shopping for groceries (3 stores! Trader Joes, Super Walmart and my fav Fresh and Easy) and then we grilled some steaks for Aaron's parents. I don't do alot of red meat so the steak set like a rock and I had to lay down for a while. Then we went on a drive, got a skinny vanilla latte and came home and watched the Producers! All in all, a great weekend!

Today it's back to work. It's almost 8 and my two year old is still asleep! Of course on all three days off the crackhead was up at 6:30 but on a work day, of course he decides to sleep in. So annoying but at least I got to blog in peace! I accidently bought some whole bean coffee at TJ's yesterday so this was my first time grinding coffee fresh and I must say, so much better than Folgers! Yummy way to start the day! Have a good one!

Look forward, look back

Warning...confused rambling of a crazy person at 2 am ahead...proceed with caution...


I was reading this months Shape Magazine and I saw this quote from the Editor and Chief. "You just have to make the decision to go forward and never look back-and then move slowly and steadily toward your goal." When I first read it I thought, heck yeah! That is exactly what I need to do. I need to embrace this new life I have and stop worrying so much about how I used to be. I need to make the decision to move forward and continue this healthy lifestyle. But I still get stuck inside my head. I feel bad about myself when I eat when I'm not hungry or when I think about food too much. I start to obsess about how I am still the same in so many ways and that terrifies me. I never want to be that sad, miserable person I was. This way of life is so much better! But why can't I stop putting food in my face when I am not hungry? What is going on inside my head that makes me reach for food? Honestly, I don't know what it is. I have been reading Geneen Roth's Women Food and God and I agree that there must be something I am trying to pacify with food but when I think about it I draw a blank. I don't have any childhood trauma, no big loss in my life recently. I have been very lucky. My parents got a divorce when I was in high school and I gained a bunch of weight after that, so I am sure that has something to do with it, but I can't put my finger on what I feel somewhere down deep that makes me turn to food. I have also been reading Loving What Is (I really want to get to the bottom of my emotional eating, if you haven't noticed) and she (Byron Katie) says that it isn't our thoughts that cause suffering but out attachment to our thoughts. When we attach ourselves to thoughts, often thoughts that are false, we develop our beliefs about ourselves and our lives. Those beliefs become the story that we tell ourselves a 100 times a day. Living our lives inside of these false stories that we tell our self lead us to live a life "caught in a dream" This "dream" causes us to try to alter and manipulate the stressful feelings we get when we attach ourselves to untrue thoughts. WTF? It is 2 in the morning and way to late for my brain to be trying to figure this out, let alone trying to explain it to someone else. :) Please excuse my philosophical ramblings. But I think this also brings up a part of me that I really don't like. I shut down. I start to scratch the surface and get confused and muddled and overwhelmed, so I just shut down. Maybe I am being too hard on myself? Maybe I am being to complacent with myself? Maybe I am just a drama queen LOL. The latter is probably true :) I think I think I should be more F*&cked up that I really am? There is something there and I'll figure it out. I need to just relax and start "inquiring" (Byron Katie and Geneen Roth buzz word) when these feelings (crazy food obsessions) arise. Byron Katie says we need to be curious about the thoughts that we have without judgement or fear. A thought is just a thought. And with that, I am going to stop this crazy train for the night.

Bariatric Bad Girl

So Melting Mama started a FB page for Bariatric Bad Girls (and Boys) and I'm loving it!!! I love what she said about the "bad girls"

"It's not about breaking rules. It's not eating badly. In fact, most of the BBGC girls (and boys!) are rule-followers, go figure. We simply want long-term weight loss surgery success and happiness, for everyone, regardless of starting point, or RE-starting point. We are all equal, we are all human, we all make mistakes, and nobody is perfect."

This is so true! I call myself a lazy girl about my WLS but the truth is I am far from lazy when it comes to my life after WLS. I am diligent about getting in my protein and I am aware of what I am doing. I may not make the best choices all the time but I am leaps and bounds ahead of where I was 2 years ago. I think the point of the Bad Girls and what I am trying to do in my own life is finding a way to be ourselves with our WLS. I don't want to be defined by a surgery I had. I am thankful beyond words that I got to have this surgery and lose 120 lbs in 10 months but I refuse to live my life a slave to the crazy over the top "rules" given to me by my nut! I do the essentials (take my vitamins and get in my protein) and I don't sweat the small stuff. Thanks Melting Mama for the breath of fresh air in the WLS world!!!!

Movie Night!

So my sister Amber and I went and saw Sex and the City 2 tonight! What a fun movie! It is exactly what you would expect it to be! Funny and Fabulous! We went to 7-11 for some movie treats. I found these new M&M pretzel candies! OMG, so friggin' good! I am a big fan of salty/sweet combos and this one is a winner. And they are a pretty good candy choice as far as I was concerned...150 calories, 5 grams of fat and 16 grams of sugar. Not too bad for candy. But here is where I find myself annoyed at myself. Why did I have to involve food in my fun evening activity? I know our culture forces food on us for EVERY event so I'm sure it is sheer habit but I hate it and I really want to change it. I don't want to feel the desire to eat every time I go to the movies, or go to Disneyland, or go to the zoo, or go to Target! Grrrrr! The fat girl inside me still thinks about food ALOT and I really want to change that but I am not sure how. I bought a book a few days ago that was recommended to me by a therapist I work with. According to him, if you work through the book, you can bypass the need for therapy. I am all for that since I don't have the time, money, or attention span for therapy. The book is called "Loving What is: Four questions that can change your life" by Byron Katie . I know there are alot of things mentally that I need to work through to make this new body and lifestyle last. I still have a lot of the same food issues I had pre-op. They always said the surgery was on your stomach, not your brain. I always thought that was so cheesy, but it really is true. I am still a fat girl inside. My brain hasn't caught up with my body. I have also been reading Geneen Roth's Woman Food and God book. Problem with me is I get so overwhelmed at the thought of doing the soul searching involved in this book that I put it off and put it off telling myself that I need to wait until I have some quiet time. As a working mommy of 2 there is very little quiet time in my world. By the time the kids are in bed and the chores are done it's usually 11 pm and I am spent! I need some accountability so I will use this blog. This weekend I will read chapter 1 and 2 of Loving What Is and I will do the Judge-your-neighbor worksheet. I will report back when it is done and let you know how it went. This weekend I will also pick one of Geneen Roth's Eating Guidelines to work on this weekend. I will do "Eat sitting down in a calm environment. This does not include the car." Well, it feels good to have a plan. I already have a cleaning to do list and a new novel I am dying to start The Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. So I think I will read one chapter of the Outlander then do something off my To-Do list. It's going to be a lazy long weekend so that should work...

Enjoy your long weekend!

Thursday 13

Now that I am a super cool blogger, I thought I would give Thursday 13 a try. Today's 13...

13 Things to Do with Greek Yogurt!

1. Mix any fresh or frozen (my preference) fruit into it with some Splenda (or sweetener of your choice). Better than anything you could buy at the store!

2. Mix Apple or Pumpkin Butter into it. This is my current fav!

3. Mix a tablespoon or 2 of Sugar Free pudding for a fluffy sweet treat. Just be careful not to add too much or you will have a VERY thick bowl of yogurt.

4. Mix a tablespoon of any flavor Sugar Free Torani Syrup. This, like the SF pudding gives endless flavor opportunities. I like Vanilla and Peppermint so far!

5. Flavor to taste and then add in some granola, Kashi GoLean, Frosted Mini Wheats, any cereal you like for some crunch.

6. Add cold oatmeal and some fruit. It sounds weird, but thanks to Peanut Butter Finger's blog, I am a fan! Give it a try!

7. In a blender, add 1 cup of Greek yogurt, a 1+ cups of frozen strawberries that have been nuked in the microwave for 30 seconds and 4 oz of OJ. Yummy protein packed smoothie! You could add any fruit/juice combo, except bananas, that's just nasty!

8. Use in place of Sour Cream in recipes, on tacos, on chili, in soup (I add to Fresh and Easy's Chicken Tortilla Soup to dial down the heat), pretty much anywhere you would use sour cream, leading me to #9.

9. Mix in Ranch Dressing mix or Onion soup mix. I find 1/2 packet per 8 oz is perfect! Grab some veggies, or your finger and dig in!

10. Mix in chunky salsa for a great dip! Also mix with Avocado and garlic salt for another yummy dip for tortilla chips.

11. Through in a stick of Crystal Light and some Splenda! I like to use the Pink Lemonade flavor

12. I have wanted to try this for days now...World According to Eggface has been posting about her current addiction called "Fluff Stuff" I am going to make it one of these days! Everything she makes is delish so I'm sure this is no different!

13. Apparently, you can use it as a face mask? I'm going to try that tonight!

Ok, I am sure there are hundreds of other things to do with Greek Yogurt. So comment and let me know what you do with your Greek yogurt! I'm always looking for good tips!

BTW, the pic is from my fridge, not the grocery store! I really like Greek Yogurt...if you couldn't tell!

Disneyland then and now

We have season passes to Disneyland so we go several times a month. My sister and I took a quick trip down there with the kiddos tonight. On the way home I got thinking about how different trips to DL are now. Here I am in Oct 2007.

In my defense, I had a baby one month prior to this... lol! Not a pound of this was because of the baby! I remember being so exhausted after just a few hours. My feet throbbed! My back hurt and I was terrified to go on any of the rides. I did, for my son's sake (that's Patrick in the pic) but it was horrible! I could hardly fit on the rides and I was so uncomfortable. I would not dream of going on rides like Dumbo, Astro Blasters, anything with a seat belt. I remember we went a few months after this pic was taken and I took Patrick on Big Thunder Mountain. If you aren't familiar with DL, it's a fast train roller coster thing. Two people fit into each of the cars. So here I am, 300+ lbs with my 40 lb four year old. The ride has a bar that comes down as far as the biggest person. My son was flying all around the entire time terrified because he was not secure in his seat because his mom was so big the bar would get no where near him. I remember holding on to him so tightly. It was so scary and I remember feeling so guilty that my son had have such a huge mom. Thankfully he was only 4 and probably won't remember that experience, but it was burned into my memory. So flash forward 2 1/2 years...

(That's the back of Cooper's head and yes, we rock the backpack leash the ENTIRE time because Cooper is a crazy runner!) There isn't a ride in the place that I am scared I won't fit into (that's a lie, logically I know I will fit, but the fat girl inside is still terrified). My feet never hurt and I am never tired after a few hours there, even after dealing with my 6 and 2 year old. We went on Dumbo a few months ago and that was such a HUGE deal for me. I hadn't been on that ride since I was a kid! Losing this weight has been so amazing not only for me and my health, but for my kids. They don't have to think twice about their mom not fitting on a ride or having to sit down while they go on rides because I am so tired. During that trip in 2007 I was seriously considering a scooter telling myself that since I had a C-section 3 weeks earlier, I could justify it! How sad is that! The only thing that I still struggle with when I got to DL is the desire to eat the whole time. I always pack snacks and somewhere inside I feel like DL is a treat so we should eat treats. This has to stem from when I was a kid or something when DL was a once a year treat, not a monthly excursion. If I have packed some kind of sweet, I think about it WAY too much! I obsess about it and then give in and induldge. I know I said that I pretty much eat whatever once I have had my protein bar, coffee and greek yogurt but that means I eat whatever "normal" food I want. Sweets should be limited, WLS or not. I am a hit or miss dumper so I never really know when I will get sick with the sweets but that doesn't stop me most of the time. My obsessive thoughts about food are a big struggle for me, but that's another post another time. It's after midnight and I really should go to bed! Have a good one!

Kriste was kung fu fighting...

Well no, but I did take a Kardio Kickboxing class last night... Here is the proof! It was the first aerobic class I have taken since my weight loss. It was much easier than it would have ever been last year, but I am still painfully uncoordinated! I did fine with the repitish(is that a word) stuff but when it came to combos that involved moving around, it was very funny. I just laughed at myself and kept moving! I think I will keep going because it was soooo fun! I haven't been to the gym in over a month because I find basic cardio machines a snore fest. My YMCA has TVs and that still isn't enough to keep me entertained. I think Classes are the key for me. My sister Laura has a membership too but she is very resistant to classes so that's no fun...Oh well! I also like the Yoga class but 7:45 am is just too early for me! I like to exercise my coffee drinking arm at that time of the morning! I love me some coffee! So today I am going to Disneyland with the kiddos so that will be a workout in itself! Have a great day everyone!

Bento Fun

I have been following Worldaccordingtoeggface's blog since I was pre-op and I have loved her posts about her bento box lunches. I would LOVE to get the one she has but I'm cheap so I picked up this one from the 100 yen store (Japanese $1 store) in San Diego last year. I love it because 1) it is cute 2) it has built in portion control power 3) I feel cool using it :) I'm a dork, I know. So here is the bento I prepared Sunday for yesterday that I will eat today

1. A serving size of Honey Wheat Pretzels from Fresh and Easy that I will munch on throughout my day at work. I like to wrap the turkey around them.

2. Turkey lunch meat (10g protein in 2 slices, so 15 grams)

3. 1 oz of cheddar cheese (7 grams of protein)

4. A tablespoon of real Miracle Whip (I don't do light or FF anymore...yuck!)

5. Pack of Smarties, just to keep it fun!

but a drug rep brought Panera yesterday so I ate a modified Sierra Turkey Sandwich

1. The insides of the sandwich on the yummiest looking 1/4 of the bread. This one was especially pretty with lots of cheesey goodness. I also added 3 small potato chips between the turkey slices for some crunch.

2. A couple dips into the sauce

3. A 1/5 of the oatmeal raisin cookie that came in the box. I ate this about 20 minutes later. It wasn't very good so I should have just thrown it away because I deserve only the best tasting stuff (I wish I really believed this but I am trying...) but live and learn right?

I am finishing off my protein coffee and then it's off to work. Just to make you smile, here is a pic of my Basset Hound Lulu Belle from yesterday. She got her lady parts removed and is now rocking this awesome cone!

Have a great day!

My WLS Holy Trinity

Since I am all about keeping it as simple as possible in my life after WLS I thought I would share my "Holy Trinity" with you. I started eating these 3 things everyday about a month and a half ago and my weight loss has started back up and I feel better. I feel better both physically and mentally. Eating these things daily make me feel like I am doing something good for my body (because I am :) and makes me feel like I am following the "rules". So everyday I eat a 8 oz container of Greek Yogurt, a Pure Protein Bar, and a scoop of Pro5 protein powder in my morning coffee. The Greek Yogurt gives me 24 grams of Protein. The Pure Protein bar gives me 18-20 grams depending on the bar (Peanut Butter Carmel Surprise is my new fav!) and the Pro5 protein powder gives me 30 grams. So 24+20+30=74 grams of protein in 3 items! My doc recommends 80-100 so if I eat these things everyday, I am pretty much guaranteed to meet my protein requirement for the day. Once I have had my trifecta of protien-ness I give myself permission to eat whatever my body wants. I don't stress over carbs, protein, nothing. It is very freeing. I don't go on a free for all binge because that would just be asking for hours of feeling like shit, but I don't worry about what I eat, but only after I have eaten all three things. Usually, I do this by lunch. Protein coffee at about 7:30 am, protein bar in the car on the way to work (9ish) and my yogurt at my desk around 10. It's pretty awesome! If you haven't had Greek yogurt yet, run don't walk to the school and pick up this perfect wls food! Tons of protein, low in calories (140) and nonfat! It is plain so the possibilities are endless. I will blog about the wonders of Greek yougurt another day. I am sooooooooo tired because I haven't been sleeping well. I drank some NyQuil so I will be on my way to dreamland very soon! Have a good one!

Hello everyone...anyone...no one...

Well, I feel a little silly since no one will probably read this...but here it goes. My name is Kriste and I am 10 months post op RNY Gastric Bypass. My highest weight was 334 lbs in the fall of 2008. I started my pre-op classes that fall and had my surgery July 10, 2009. At surgery I was 297. I met my goal of being under 300 on my own, so that was cool. I got on the scale yesterday and I was 177. That's 120 lbs in 10 freakin' months! CRAZY!!!! I never thought the weight would come off this fast. It kind of freaks me out. Please don't get me wrong, I am ecstatic about my weight loss, but I am having to mentally catch up. The first 3-4 months I was great! Model patient. I weighed all of my food, counted every gram of protein, stayed away from sweets and most carbs, everything I was suppose to do. Something started to change around the 5 and 6 month. I started eating more "normally" I guess you could say?!? During these months I didn't watch my protein, calories, nothing. I ate what I wanted (still small portions, but...) and didn't worry too much because the weight was still falling off at a dramatic rate. At about 8 1/2 - 9 months out I began realizing that I didn't feel very good, physically and mentally. I decided to try to figure out a way to live as normally as I can with my new body and my nutritional needs. I struggle with the idea of having to live on a "diet" forever. On one hand I know that I have certain nutritional needs and certain things I should stay away from because the doctor said so, but I am stubborn and I don't wanna... I want to live and eat like a "normal" person. I want to enjoy chips and salsa at a Mexican food restaurant and enjoy an ice cream cone on a hot summer night. Problem is, I am not "normal." I have never had a normal relationship with food. My mom had a hardcore eating disorder when I was growing up so I picked up some pretty weird eating habits. I learned the binges without seeing the purges because I was young. I have always been "thick" but I didn't get obese until high school. My parents got a divorce when I was 16 and it really messed with my head. I gained 90+ lbs during my junior year of high school and continued to gain weight all though my 20s. I lost about 90 lbs when I was 19 but I quickly gained it back plus alot after I met my husband. I was thin for all of 10 minutes. I have 2 kids but I can't blame any of the weight on them. I actually lost weight with my pregnancies. Looking back, I can't believe I let myself get to 334. I was miserable! I am so thankful that I have an amazing husband who has loved me through thick and thin and 2 darling boys that always saw me as their pretty mommy. I feel like I am starting to ramble, so I am going to end this intro here but I want to say this first. I am calling this blog "Lazy girl's life after WLS" because that is how I feel and frankly how I want to be. I am on a quest to find the quickest, easiest, and most maintainable way to live this new life I have been given. I want to keep my weight off with the least amount of effort possible. I say this because I know myself and if it's not easy, and almost automatic, it won't last. This blog will probably be my journal more than anything but I am an open book and I love sharing my journey with other people. Thanks for taking the time to read this! I want to share my before and after pics with you! Talk to you soon!

A week before surgery. About 300 lbs here...

And here I am about 9 months post op. Around 180...